"I had to." It feels like a lie, even if it truly isn't, even if Ranboo knows, logically, that they only did what they had to do, that the others would've done the same-- right? That Showfall had all of them under control, forced into their little boxes.

Well. There is one death that was entirely Ranboo's own choice and actions, his own anger and fear and agonizing hope driving his hand, but... was that person even really alive to begin with? Were they even really a person at all anymore?

Not that Ranboo really took the time to think about that before jamming a hunting knife into their chest.

But it's when Dirk continues that Ranboo begins to realize that his takeaway isn't anything like what Ranboo feared it would be, but instead something that they're even less sure of how to respond to. It's as if Dirk is desperate to prove that he's the worst, like it's a challenge to his internally assigned title of The Worst.

"No-- Jesus christ, no. I don't want to be worse, I don't-- want any of it, I just... I want to be..." What? Normal? He sighs. "... I just want to be okay. I didn't tell you about it because-- because it makes me feel fucking... terrible."